Tag Archives | stitch’s supersonic celebration

Poor Stitch. Right near his annoying attraction where he bounces around like a border jumper with the runs, the suits at WDW tried pathetically to introduce Stitch’s Supersonic Celebration as a fun new show. It was like watching paint dry. After your eyes were gouged out by the paint stirrer. This show was so bad, it barely lasted longer than it takes a sue happy guest to litigate for inaccurate wait times.

I can’t figure out why it didn’t make it, when you had Go-Go Dancers, Power Ranger rejects, and an annoying blue troll dressed like Elvis. What more did people want? Would adding Jar-Jar Binks have helped? Add this to the fact that the whole area was out in the open, this would have been real fun in the humid inferno known as Florida summers. I will say it did have the makings of a “so bad it’s good” following, like Showgirls or Hudson Hawk, it just never got the chance to draw crowds bigger than an express line item limit.  Besides, I don’t think Disney would have gone for people yelling at the stage and throwing popcorn & drinks like a Rocky Horror Picture Show.

This was just one of the many shows/attractions that were rushed into reality by some suit who rarely even visits the parks, and who are probably the same ones that deny Gay Days even exist, while wearing red shirts the first week of June. Stitch’s SC was one of those things someone should have been demoted to gum scraper for. Better yet, professional barf bag holder at Mission: Space would have been perfect, and not the one outside for post-riders, the one needed inside when people see leather-faced Gary Sinise pretending to be an animatronic. The only thing that could’ve made that guy look worse was a comb-over…which they did.

According to many former Imagineers, too many suits make these types of uneducated guesses regarding new parades and attractions. Whenever they see two things at Disney working, they feel the need to cram them together in an attempt to be new & fresh. I like cashews and gum, but I wouldn’t eat them together (again). I would also never have a peanut butter sandwich with a glass of Coke (go ahead and try it, I’ll wait.), but they’re both still great on their own. The worst part is, some of these big decision makers can’t even name 10 attractions, even though their offices are right in the parks. That’s like our president learning about the Constitution from a restaurant placemat (no he didn’t).

The worst part of it all is Stitch’s attempted takeover of Tomorrowland. With his Great Escape already crashing property values, he almost single-handedly turned Beverly Hills into Compton (minus the cool rappers). I’m sure they had to give Monster’s Inc. Laugh Floor a sweet deal, with huge tax breaks and even the ability to hire non-union. I bet not one of those 8 year olds doing improv has ever paid dues.

Alas, while Stitch’s Supersonic Fiasco is thankfully no more, I’m sure this won’t be the last ill-conceived idea from some genius who thinks it would be wise to pair The Muppets with Kilimanjaro Safaris. Sure, it’d be great for about 5 minutes, until you had to explain to your kid why the lion has a frog torso in his mouth.

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